The Compleat Iconoclast |
...Vote For Your Favorite Wench...
mld, September 7, 2002 at 5:00:00 PM CEST
The More You Drink... ...the better I look. Researchers have verified that getting a good buzz on makes other people look better. No screamin' eagle shit. Any bartender on the planet coulda verified this. So could Mickey Gilley. (He wrote "The Girls All Get Prettier At Closing Time," one of the finest Do-A-Shot-Of-Jack-And-Take-A-Pasadena-Snuff-Queen-Home honky-tonk anthems of all freakin' time.) Lawd knows I've woken up a few times wondering where the hell the woman I took home went to, and what her fugly sister was doing in my bed. I've joked that I was the kinda guy that would start out the night looking for a ten, and end up settling for five twos. :-) 'Course, that was in my younger days. I'm older and wiser now. Or, maybe, just more tired... "But if you used to want to see a commotion You shoulda seen the man that I used to be I was trouble in perpetual motion Trouble with a capital "T" Stayin' out late, havin' fun And shot off every single shot in my gun Yeah I used to be a terror but Now I am a tired man Yeah I used to be a terror but Now I am a tired man" Jim Croce - "Tired Man" I'm sure this is not a new idea. I think it was Socrates that mentioned the increasing freedom he felt as aged from the tyranny of his fleshly desires. I'm not that old yet, but I've certainly grown out of my youthful prediliction for boinking anybody that would hold still for a few minutes. :-) Wisdom? Fatigue? A more discerning sexual palate, a result of living with one of the sexiest damn women on the planet? How can you tell the difference? I think an experiment is in order. I think I ought to go to one of Houston's many fine topless clubs, slam some whiskey, pop a couple Viagra, (just to simulate those late teen testosterone levels) and see if I get really stoopid - like handing over my wallet to some airhead psycho titty dancer stoopid. I think a passing grade is spending less than $200. If I can pass that test, I can report to my mom that I have finally Grown Up. :-) ... Link (0 comments) ... Comment mld, September 6, 2002 at 11:53:00 PM CEST The New KatDaddy As some of you may have heard, the Gulf Coast is about to be visited by another tropical storm. Faye is predicted to dump about ten inches of rain in the area. This, of course, put CG into paroxysms of worry about the patio kitties. Despite her allergies, she insisted that we snag the hissing little furballs, and take them inside. So, I am now foster KatDaddy to Sam, Ivory, and El Tigre, who are presently sleeping in a big cardboard box, full to bursting with Friskies. Y'all saw this coming, right? I've been taking turns with them, having them sit on my lap while I surf and stuff. They're slowly getting used to me. Ok, if you love me, now it's time to belly up to the bar. Who wants a free kitty? ... Link (2 comments) ... Comment mld, September 5, 2002 at 10:28:00 PM CEST Emdot Kitty Pics Kitties: " Hey, what are you doin'? Can't you see we're trying to sleep here?" mld: "Kwitcherbitchin'. It's marya's thirty-sixth birthday, all her damn plans fell through, and she wants some pics of you guys." Kitties: "me---OWWWW! Easy on the flash, there, big boy." mld: "Sorry, guys, but you know em - it's all about her." Kitties: "Can we go back to sleep now? And we're outta milk, too." ... Link (1 comment) ... Comment |
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