Cookoff Girl

I suppose after all my mention of her, I should explain. "Cookoff Girl," or CG for short, is the pseudonym I use online for my lover. We live together, and have been lovers, off and on, (we went through a rough spot two years ago) for almost five years now.

How can I describe her? She's 5'9", mumbledy-something pounds, (she'd have my cojones if I told you) and absolutely gorgeous, with beautiful blue-green eyes, sandy dark-blonde, bottom of the shoulder blade length hair, and a ten thousand watt smile.

She's a big girl, voluptuous, with an hour and a half glass figure, which is about right for me. She is full of, almost larger than, life - she loves to eat, drink, talk, laugh and fuck enough for two people. (Actually, as respecting the latter, a lot more than two, but I'd have a hard time putting a number on it, so we'll leave it at that.)

She's my people magnet. Folks love her. Once, she went to a "How To Find Your True Love" type seminar for singles, (this was before she met me) and the lady running the show called her up in front of the group and described her as a "Genetic Celebrity." :-) Virtually all of our friends are friends primarily of hers, that I think put up with my grumpy self to be around her.

We live together in a relationship that is difficult to define. It's not monogamous, but the most common antonym of monogamous is polyamorous, and we don't quite qualify as that, at least for the moment.

My friend Spring Dew, who does qualify as polyamorous, and I had a discussion about that a while back, and I decided that I'd have to invent a term for us, so I came up with the term, "polyfilarkos," from two Greek root words meaning "many" and "friends." I translate it, though, as to mean "many fuckbuddies." :-)

We have a small group of intimate friends in our love life, and go to, or host, a party for larger groups every once in a while. I suppose you could say we "date" other people. We almost always are together. I have to say "almost always," because there was one exception to that rule for each of us. Both cases reinforced our decision to only date other folks as a couple.

We meet most of these people through personal ads placed at adult-oriented sites such as alt.com and adultfriendfinder.com. We've even gone to a few of the local "swinger's" clubs and had a wild night or two. It seems the most enjoyable times were those when we've recruited (seduced, maybe) people from "real life." Those relationships seem to be the most fun - I couldn't tell you why that is. Most of the habitual "swingers" we've ever met seem just, I dunno, "off" somehow, like a piece of meat that's starting to go bad.

Having said all that, we're always open to the idea of new intimate friends and lovers in our lives, so if you're a special person, too, and find us attractive and interesting, don't be afraid to drop us a line. We don't bite. Well, maybe just a little, and only in all the best places. :-)

Update 8/01/2003: As of a few months ago, the nature of our relationship has changed. See this entry for the details.

First off - Please tell CG I think she is *hot* !!!

Second off -
Just a technical question - you define polyfilarkos as "many fuckbuddies", but also say "our decision to only date other folks as a couple."

So - does that mean group sex? Group being three or more. Or that you are together when the decision to otherwise pair off is made?

Pardon me if this is too technical and takes all the fun out of it, but I've only just started to get the polyamorous thing and am curious about your thing. Expeciall as it now has its own word!

mld, 9/7/02, 3:53 AM

Defining Polyfilarkos

Well, yes, it does mean group sex - sometimes me and her and another person of either sex, and sometimes a buncha folks of both sexes. We don't wander off by ourselves to boink other folks. Been there, tried that, didn't like the T-Shirt. (The last time I did that was my fling with Gina. I just didn't feel right not to have CG there, though there was no deception involved. I actually missed having her there.) While we may not be "with" each other the whole time, we're always in the same room. It makes her feel safe to know that I'm there to make sure nothing gets outta hand.

We sometimes go to relatively public parties (see my Dark Parties entry - though we were not at that particular party), though it is rare for us to do much at a party like that. Sometimes we attend or host a party for friends we've already met. Human sexual behavior being what it is, the men usually outnumber the women, and there have been a few times where CG was only woman there. Damn good thing she's a Energizer Bunny in some respects. :-)

There are nightclubs in Houston for "swingers" that we've been to, met folks, and had a nice time. That's kinda like shooting fish in a barrel, though. To be honest, the most umm, enjoyable thing for us is to just live our lives, run into someone that we find attractive, be they "into the scene" or not, and I suppose, "seducing" them is the the word to use.

You'd be surprised (or maybe you wouldn't) how many "normal" folks are open to such an adventure. (This may be due to CG's star qualities - nobody ever tells her no - I just get to tag along) I garan-damn-tee that we can go out dancing, meet a girl that otherwise wouldn't look at me twice, and strike up a friendship that will more often than not turn into an intimate one - usually not that night, but eventually, once we make it clear what we have in mind. I have actually come to believe that it's easier for a couple to pick up a single woman.

Couples are more problematic, as some guys can be pretty hung up about having another man leaving pecker tracks all over their wife or GF, though, hypocritically, they'd not mind a FMF romp.Of course, solo guys are easier than peanut butter sandwiches, though she rarely sees a single guy she wants to take a swing at - she likes girls, too.

Well, that's prolly more than you wanted to know. If you've any other questions, we can continue this in front of $DEITY and the whole dogdam internet, or you can take it to private mail. It don't matter to me; I'm too old to worry about what Mrs. Grundy thinks. :-)

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