This is hilarious...

Sample bite from:

www.coldfury.com

"Frodo Baggins of Bagshot Row, Hobbiton, The Shire, Middle Earth, has been called before the International Criminal Court to answer charges of war crimes brought by Sauron the Dark Lord and Saruman the White in a joint filing."

and later on...

"Baggins was responsible for casting the Ring of Power (otherwise known as the One Ring or simply the One) into the fires of Mount Orodruin in Mordor ("Where The Shadows Lie!" according to the Mordor Tourism Board), thereby destroying both the Ring and Sauron's long-standing hope to bring heretofore fractious and inefficient Middle Earth under the central political control of the Dark Tower. Without the Ring, Sauron's legions (defensive in nature and made necessary by the Lords of the West's aggression, according to Barad-Dur spokesmen) of orcs, wolves, trolls, and "evil" Men lost the will to fight and became helpless in the face of the armies of the West. Millions were slaughtered as a direct and immediate consequence of the destruction of the Ring."

When the Europeans realize that to sign the ICC treaty would require the President to seek a Constitutional Amendment allowing foreign judges, not answerable in any manner, however indirect, to the American voters, to have jurisdiction over American citizens, (and this will be hard for them to do, as most of them don't have a Constitution, or a Bill of Rights) and the odds of that amendment getting the needed two-thirds of the States to ratify it are about the same as Osama dancing in a thong in the next Britney video, maybe they'll quit carping about it.

... Link (0 comments) ... Comment

Dana worked with me way back in 1979-80 at a club called Tuesday's, the bar mentioned in the Funny Story.

She was a waitress, and I was a bartender at the time. She was tall, square-shouldered, strong, voluptuous, and lovely, about my height, (5'9") and I'd guess about 160, maybe a bit more. Think of an olive-skinned, tanned, Mae West with long golden-brown hair, blue eyes, and a dazzling wide white smile. She was part American Indian, (Cherokee?) and had the tell-tale high cheekbones of her people. Toss in some Irish, and Italian, and there you have her, one of those uniquely beautiful girls you find only in America.

We were drawn to each other for months, but never pursued it, as we worked together. One night, for reasons that over the years have escaped me, it turned out that we were both off work, (not normally the case) and were up at the bar to have a drink. We danced together for the first time, and drank more than we should have, all the while simmering for each other.

The night ended up at her place, and leaving aside the details for another day, it was one of the most memorable nights of my life. It's safe to say that I will never forget her.

Shortly afterward, within weeks, I moved to Florida. We exchanged letters a few times, (I still have them, and plan to scan them and put them up here someday) and then, nothing. I heard years later that she started dating someone else, and got engaged. I don't know whether she ever married the guy in question, or not.

She was from Pittsburg, PA.

What else do I know about her? Her parents were divorced, and she used to live in an apartment on the street Gray Falls here in Houston.

That, and that I know I'd truly love to know how the course of her life has been since I knew her. I hope that she has been as happy as our mortal existence allows.

So, Dana, if you stumble upon this, give me a shout.

... Link (0 comments) ... Comment