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Catch a Plaintiff By the Toe


And, man, is she hollerin'.

Just posted an update on the hare-brained SW Airlines Eenie-Meenie-Minie-Mo lawsuit story. Figured I should as it's ranked up there (Top 5) on all the major search engines, and getting boo-coo (well boo-coo for me) hits over the last week or so, since the jury ruled in the case.

And now - your Bonus Useless Factoid of the Day. Who's Yer Daddy? :-)

Did some more interesting reading about the origin of the rhyme. Seems that the thing about grabbing the toe was in reference to testing to see if someone was the Devil. If it hurt, you "let them go" as they weren't the Devil - he was (still is, I guess, in some idjits minds) allegded to have hooves, so pinching his foot would cause no pain.

(Pinches foot, feels pain, sighs, thinks, "And I try so hard.")


 

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I'm Talkin' Black Hole Stoopid


After the idiots at MoveOn posted on their website commercials equating President Bush to Hitler (later feebling denying that they realized what the content of the ads were - gee, wonder if I could try that defense if someone had posted some kiddie porn on this site) I thought I'd never find greater idiocy short of diving into the abyss of the comments section of Indymedia, the Democratic Underground, or the Free Republic.

(No, I'm linking none of those aforementioned sites - even a man like me has to have some sorts of standards. You can google 'em easy enough iffn you wanna go dog-paddle in the shallow end of the net's gene pool)

Boy, was I wrong.

Every once in a while, you can run into a bit of clueless, idiotic, stupefyingly disjointed vitriol so collosally, miraculously, unhinged, that it transcends the genre, and is somehow transubstantiated from the ridiculous to the sublime. A work of ignorant art.

Through either an inborn ability, or a highly-honed effort, be he idiot savant, or classically educated in the art of being a moron type moron, this guy is the Albert Einstein, the Stephen Hawking, the Michelangelo, the acme, the alpha and omega, the ne plus ultra, the pinnacle, the... I could go on, but I can't really think of a term that adequately describes the abyssal depths of this guy's ignorance.

I'm dumbfounded that someone so stupid can actually read and write, much less stumble over a computer and find his way onto the internet.

This is beyond Three Stooges Stoopid, beyond give Arafat a Nobel Peace Prize Stoopid, beyond Above and Beyond the Call of Ignorance Stoopid.

This is Neutronium Stoopid, a Black Hole Stoopid so greedy and dense that it can swallow any fragment of Intelligence and Reason thrown its direction with nary a burp, and toss it into another dimension never to again be seen, lost after the event horizon of Attempted Enlightenment.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...

(drum roll)

Ogram N'otsgnik.

Read him and weep that we must include him in the roll call of the members of our species.

We must free our minds to use the brains and Michael Moore provides the information and conceptual relevance to frame the context of the ongoing debate about America's hegemonic lust for flag-planting and the cannabilistic murder and consumption of its own poor people and children. ("Yes," says George W. "let the NRA pass me some dark meat from the ghetto to go with my blood pudding.")

Even now, as Uncle Sam's jackboot grinds free speech to a bloody pulp in his own homeland and democracy withers under direct orders from Washington in Australia, the grasping octopus of American imperialist adventurism is no closer to singing its swan song.

On Mars the Stars and Stripes flies -- the Red Planet, how appropriate, red with the blood of workers poisoned by the toxic byproducts of the imperialist war machines march on the high frontier of space in its phallic symbols of globalised corporate power. Did you know that every rocket that takes off from Cape Canavaral kills 73 seabirds (on average) and has led to nervous conditions amongst neighbouring manatees.

Michael Moore sees and speaks these truths in a simple, down-to-earth way that people who have been denied the benefits of tertiary education (unlike me and most Age readers) can understand.

His truths are such a challenge to the patriarchal power structure and its Zionist puppetmasters that it requires definite bravery to articulate them. They shot Martin Luther King and John Lennon in America. How long can it be before this large precious object is martyred by the same interests that gave us the Big Mac, George W. Bush, and showers instead of relaxing baths.

I dunno what else to say, but it does make Michael Moore's popularity a bit more explicable, I suppose.


 

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The OrthoDox Prez


Of the field of the Nine Dwarfs, err...Nazgul, err..Angry Men, err.. Democratic Presidential Candidates, Joe Leiberman seems to be the one I could actually vote for if I had to, for the clear reason that he hasn't embraced the knee-jerk anti-war moonbattiness of the rest of the field.

It made me wonder, though, about the international diplomatic ramifications if by some miracle he did win the election.

Given the rising level of Anti-Semitism in Europe, much less the Middle East, can you imagine what it would be like if we had an Orthodox Jew as President?

The conspiracy theorists would self-combust, and can you imagine Prince Whoever of the Sauds, or Musharaff, Chirac, or ANY Islamic leader having to come over here and shake his hand and make nice?

Can you imagine Mubarak having to come over here and kiss his ass to make sure those billions we give his dogass regime keep a'comin?

That's one delicious thought.

Maybe Bush could make him Secretary of State for his second term. That's be almost as good, and would pretty much insulate Bush and the Veep from any asassination attempts by Islamic terrorists, as Joe would be third in line for the top spot if they managed to pull it off.

Never happen, though.

Speekina Moonbats, what the hell are the serious contenders, meaning Dean, Leiberman, Gephardt, Clark, Edwards, and Kerry thinking?

They're letting themselves be seen on stage with Barking Moonbats Cubed like Sharpton, Braun, and Kucinich. I'm no expert on politics, but this is like showing up to pick up your date for the Senior Prom in the company of Hunter Thompson, Mike Tyson, and Michael Jackson. The Democrats are at risk of becoming a parody of themselves.

They should have exorcised those cranks from their midst a long time ago.

I had happened, the other day, while searching for a ballgame on the radio, to hear the broadcast of the last of the debates this motley crew held for the benefit of the electorate's enlightenment.

I was floored. I think my mouth actually fell open a few times at the level of illogical, visceral, blind, hate and vitriol they were spewing out. Made Linda Blair look like a piker.

It was like a contest, with all the candidates save Leiberman, and to a lesser extent Gephardt, engaged in a vicious spiral of seeing who could spout the most outrageous insult towards the current administration's direction.

I was thinking to myself, "Dude, did you just say that out loud? Don't you know the camera's are rolling? Rove's gonna tear your ass up with these soundbites come the fall."

This was before we nailed Saddam, and all the news we've since gotten about the economic recovery, but that was the night I decided that Bush would win the election in a walk. I got money on it, if anyone's interested. :-)


 

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