Tag: Humor

mld, August 13, 2002 at 2:46:00 PM CEST

The Cat's PJs

PJ O'Rouke remains one of the funniest and most trenchant satirists working. Evidence the article he wrote for The Atlantic on several protest marches in Washingington, D.C. held in support of various causes last April: "The Colombia Mobilization Festival of Hope and Resistance gathered at the Washington Monument. U.S. drug-eradication policy was opposed. Millions of Americans have opposed that policy more effectively with mirrors, razor blades, and little glass pipes. The Colombia Mobilization also wanted the U.S. Army School of the Americas eliminated, although it has been and is now the Western Hemisphere Institute for Security Cooperation. This can no longer be called a training ground for Latin American dictators, because Castro is the only dictator left. And to judge by the number of Che T-shirts in the crowd, the Colombia Mobilization is on Cuba's side."

"A kid waved an American flag that had corporate logos instead of stars on the blue field. He was wearing Adidas shoes, a Swiss Army watch, and a Mountainsmith backpack."

"Max found campus feminists to interview. One admitted that the Taliban's treatment of women was terrible and said the United States should have done something earlier, "in the name of women."

"Wouldn't that involve war?" Max asked.

"Yeah, it's a tricky one," the feminist said. "There might be some nonviolent approach such as micro-lending." Go read the whole thing. It's hi-freakin-larious.

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mld, July 7, 2002 at 6:43:00 AM CEST

Redneck Haiku

You may have to be from the South to enjoy both the humor AND the truth of these. I got these via the DaveWorld mailing list, courtesy of ScottR. Props.

But there is a twist - there's one I wrote in there - it should be easy to guess which one.

DESIRE

Damn, in that tube-top You make me almost forget That you're my cousin

SUNDAY

Fire and brimstone spew Last night's fun turns to remorse Twenties fill the till

BEAUTY

Naked in repose Silvery silhouette girls Adorn my mudflaps

REMORSE

A painful sadness Can't fit big screen TV through Double-wide's front door

DEPRIVED

In WalMart toy aisle Wailing boy wants wrestling doll Mama whups his ass

OPTIONS

Unemployment's out. Hey, maybe I can get on Disability

BLAZE

Distant siren screams Dumb-ass Verne's been playing with Gasoline again

A NEW MOON

Flashlights pierce darkness No nightcrawlers to be found Guess we'll gig some frogs

EXUBERANCE

Joyous, playful, bright Trailer park girl rolls in puddle Of old motor oil

ALONE

Seeking solitude Carl's ex-wife Tammy files for Restraining order

HATRED

I curse the rainbow Emblazoned upon his hood God damn Jeff Gordon

OFFERINGS

Tonight we hunger Grandma sent grocery money To Jimmy Swaggart

DRAMA

Set the VCR Dukes of Hazzard Marathon At 9 O'Clock

NO SIGNAL

White noise, buzzing static Call Earl; satellite dish needs new descrambler

IMPOUNDED

Sixty-five dollars And cyclone fence keeps me from My El Camino

GATHERING

In early morning mist Mama searches Circle K for Moon Pies and Red Man

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mld, July 4, 2002 at 1:51:00 AM CEST

Pussy Does Wonders

Seen on a T-Shirt recently... A T-shirt with a cat standing on it's head, and the caption "pussy does wonders"

Truer words were ne'er spoken. :-)

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