Of the field of the Nine Dwarfs, err...Nazgul, err..Angry Men, err.. Democratic Presidential Candidates, Joe Leiberman seems to be the one I could actually vote for if I had to, for the clear reason that he hasn't embraced the knee-jerk anti-war moonbattiness of the rest of the field.

It made me wonder, though, about the international diplomatic ramifications if by some miracle he did win the election.

Given the rising level of Anti-Semitism in Europe, much less the Middle East, can you imagine what it would be like if we had an Orthodox Jew as President?

The conspiracy theorists would self-combust, and can you imagine Prince Whoever of the Sauds, or Musharaff, Chirac, or ANY Islamic leader having to come over here and shake his hand and make nice?

Can you imagine Mubarak having to come over here and kiss his ass to make sure those billions we give his dogass regime keep a'comin?

That's one delicious thought.

Maybe Bush could make him Secretary of State for his second term. That's be almost as good, and would pretty much insulate Bush and the Veep from any asassination attempts by Islamic terrorists, as Joe would be third in line for the top spot if they managed to pull it off.

Never happen, though.

Speekina Moonbats, what the hell are the serious contenders, meaning Dean, Leiberman, Gephardt, Clark, Edwards, and Kerry thinking?

They're letting themselves be seen on stage with Barking Moonbats Cubed like Sharpton, Braun, and Kucinich. I'm no expert on politics, but this is like showing up to pick up your date for the Senior Prom in the company of Hunter Thompson, Mike Tyson, and Michael Jackson. The Democrats are at risk of becoming a parody of themselves.

They should have exorcised those cranks from their midst a long time ago.

I had happened, the other day, while searching for a ballgame on the radio, to hear the broadcast of the last of the debates this motley crew held for the benefit of the electorate's enlightenment.

I was floored. I think my mouth actually fell open a few times at the level of illogical, visceral, blind, hate and vitriol they were spewing out. Made Linda Blair look like a piker.

It was like a contest, with all the candidates save Leiberman, and to a lesser extent Gephardt, engaged in a vicious spiral of seeing who could spout the most outrageous insult towards the current administration's direction.

I was thinking to myself, "Dude, did you just say that out loud? Don't you know the camera's are rolling? Rove's gonna tear your ass up with these soundbites come the fall."

This was before we nailed Saddam, and all the news we've since gotten about the economic recovery, but that was the night I decided that Bush would win the election in a walk. I got money on it, if anyone's interested. :-)

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So I posted this link, in my not-really-a-review of Return of the King, which takes you to a freakin' hilarious flash animation of what I can only call Gollum Gangsta Rap.

Problem is, my enjoyment was clouded by not being able to understand all the lyrics. So, after a bit of judicious websleuthing, I was able to contact the guy that wrote, produced, and performed it, Ned Evett.

Ned seems like a nice guy by the way. In the course of our brief talk, he told me a few interesting things - first, the work has been out on the web for about a year, and is somehow just now taking off.

And taking off it is - the servers are dropping cubic gigs a day, serving it it up over 100K times just this last week.

Best of all, he's near completion of a sequel. You heard it here first. :-)

Without further ado, the lyrics, for your sing-along pleasure.... Gollum is Smegol King I is regal Basshead for the precious Smeagol fly like an eagle

The Towerz are the Playaz The Towerz are the Playaz all

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Recently, I posted about Hillary's latest trip to Afghanistan, in an entry titled Snackin' On Cold Shoulder.

Well, the plot thickens. I went out to run some errands this afternoon, and stopped to eat in one of the local seafood joints - had some boiled shrimp, a dozen oysters and a coupla beers.

Sitting next to me was a young clean-cut guy talking to his buddy. I couldn't help but overhear the conversation. As it happens, he was an Air Force C-130 crew chief, an E-4. He'd just gotten back from Afghanistan, Kandahar to be exact.

So, I struck up a conversation with him, and conducted a low-level interrogation. :-)

"Still suck over there?"

"Oh yeah, that's one fucked-up country. You never hear shit about it since Iraq, but there's a bomb or two going off almost every day."

Don't recall the rest of the conversation well enough to quote it, but he was of the opinion that it'd be a long damn time before anything like a democracy could work there, as most of the people can't read and write, don't know why we came over there to occupy the country, and don't have the faintest idea what a political party or a platform of ideas is - to them, it boils down to would you rather have your tribal chief be in charge, so your dad and uncles and stuff can get the best jobs, or let the other tribe's chief have the job, with all the pork and largesse flowing to his family and cronies?

Makes me think maybe they do have the democratic process distilled down to its finest essence, so far as it operates without the rule of law, a judiciary, and all the other checks and balances we use over here in the Republic, but that's a 'hol 'nother essay.

Finally, I got this tidbit from him - when Hillary was over there, she was shuttled around the region in a BlackHawk helicopter, which was known by the troops concerned with her transport and security as, get this...

"Broomstick One"

(snort)

Funny thing, though, is this - had that chopper come under some sort of attack, those very same troops that used that term would, I've no doubt in my mind, fought like lions to defend it, and therein lies a tale about what makes America great.

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