a pic of my brain The Compleat Iconoclast
 
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My Solution To the Palestinian Problem



OK, so Israel is completely dependent on US military and economic aid to remain viable, correct? They probably get more than NASA does, but, as Mr. Saturday Night says, don't get me started...

So, that ought to give us a good bit of leverage.

Here's what we tell them:

"Your nation is about twelve miles wide (at it's narrowest) and not two hundred miles long, about 27.7k km squared, fer Yahweh's sake; not even as big as New Jersey. We can drop your ass into any number of places - I think there are counties in Texas of similar size.

You like to live in the desert, evidently, and you like to fight. So, we'll move your whole country to say, Utah, and give you twice as much land as you have now. We'll double the amount of foriegn aid you get, and provide all the infrastructure needed for your people. Furthermore, we'll take the Wailing Wall, and any other relics, monuments, or whatever, pick them up and haul them off to your new lands. If we can move Abu Simbel and the London Bridge, you ain't got nothing we can't handle. If the Saudis et al don't like it, well, we can make them choke it down.

Now comes the like to fight part - we'll let you and the Mormons duke it out, of course, we'll have to arm them, too, (but prolly just a little bit, I don't think they have tanks). The Mormons can feel free to recruit from all the disaffected US militia types, so we can drain our domestic swamps, and kill two birds with one stone.

If you don't like that, you're cut off. Feel free to try to make it on your own. Good Luck, Mr Prime Minister."

Then let the Middle East sink under it's own weight, without having us to blame. Our policy would then become "We don't give a wombat's ass what goes on over there, so long as the oil keeps pumpin'."

This alone would scare the dogmeat out of the Saudis and Kuwaitis, among others, if we could get them to believe we'd just as readily pump oil from Saddam as the House of Saud. Maybe then they'd quit funneling moolah to the fundamentalist clerics that preach the doctrines that threaten them.

There are lots of other details - timetables and the like, to make it truly workable, but this is just a brainstorm, OK?


 
 
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