Redneck Haiku

a pic of my brain

The Compleat Iconoclast

...Vote For Your Favorite Wench...

mld, July 7, 2002 at 6:43:00 AM CEST

Redneck Haiku

You may have to be from the South to enjoy both the humor AND the truth of these. I got these via the DaveWorld mailing list, courtesy of ScottR. Props.

But there is a twist - there's one I wrote in there - it should be easy to guess which one.

DESIRE

Damn, in that tube-top You make me almost forget That you're my cousin

SUNDAY

Fire and brimstone spew Last night's fun turns to remorse Twenties fill the till

BEAUTY

Naked in repose Silvery silhouette girls Adorn my mudflaps

REMORSE

A painful sadness Can't fit big screen TV through Double-wide's front door

DEPRIVED

In WalMart toy aisle Wailing boy wants wrestling doll Mama whups his ass

OPTIONS

Unemployment's out. Hey, maybe I can get on Disability

BLAZE

Distant siren screams Dumb-ass Verne's been playing with Gasoline again

A NEW MOON

Flashlights pierce darkness No nightcrawlers to be found Guess we'll gig some frogs

EXUBERANCE

Joyous, playful, bright Trailer park girl rolls in puddle Of old motor oil

ALONE

Seeking solitude Carl's ex-wife Tammy files for Restraining order

HATRED

I curse the rainbow Emblazoned upon his hood God damn Jeff Gordon

OFFERINGS

Tonight we hunger Grandma sent grocery money To Jimmy Swaggart

DRAMA

Set the VCR Dukes of Hazzard Marathon At 9 O'Clock

NO SIGNAL

White noise, buzzing static Call Earl; satellite dish needs new descrambler

IMPOUNDED

Sixty-five dollars And cyclone fence keeps me from My El Camino

GATHERING

In early morning mist Mama searches Circle K for Moon Pies and Red Man

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